Thoughts.

I always sit here trying to get the beginning just right. It's like everything else in my life, if you can just get me started, it's normally hard to get me to stop. It's that getting started that always trips me up or postpones the event from beginning. I woke up changed the wax melts in my Scentsy burners to lilacs and violets and hopped in the shower. I wasn't in the best mood this morning, afraid I'd waste a day just wondering what to do with my life instead of actually doing it, but once I got out of the shower and smelled the flowery aroma floating throughout my apartment I knew that today would be different. Today would be a wonderful start to my week and I could toss out any negativity that came about my life from last week.

Yesterday I went to a Creative Memories Premier Event. I'd gone to one last August, so when I got the email from Vicki about another one coming up I definitely wanted to go. You get to hear people's stories about why they became consultants for Creative Memories. While that might sound lame or boring, it's actually pretty cool because you get to hear a snippet of their life story, what motivates and challenges them. The even always includes tips from a photographer (sometimes several) about taking better pictures. I was reminded of some of the basics like zooming in and using natural light to produce more meaningful pictures. I also learned what ISO means and how it can help adjust lighting so that you don't have to use your flash. I'm pretty excited about refocusing me photography (the little that I do) on those three things to display my memories more beautifully.

The convention always gives you a goody bag for registering and coming to the event. Once I got home I curled up on my bed, dumped out my bad and set about organizing my new items and browsing through the newest catalog of supplies. One thing lead to another and all of a sudden I was on the floor digging through old photo boxes finding photos I'd completely forgotten about that haven't made it into an album yet.

Even since Grandma Molly passed away in January, I've been wanting to do something special with the pictures I have of her from Christmas. I know she doesn't look great in them, I know that's probably not the best image to remember her by, but they're very dear and close to my heart. Well last night going through all those photos (which are organized by date and event by the way!) I figured out what to do and started pulling out and labeling an entirely new pile of photos. This morning after my shower and with the scent of new spring in the air I set about writing a little note to go in all the envelopes I addressed last night:

I know I haven’t seen most of you since the funeral in January. As many or most of you know I lost my job just a week before Grandma passed away. I’ve done a lot of thinking, meditating and self-discovery during that time. I’ve also been trying to get a little more caught up on all of my scrapbooking. That included going to a convention with Alan’s mom just yesterday. As usual I got home from the event and felt the need to dig through my boxes of pictures that have yet to be scrapbooked. That’s when I got my next idea: a scrapbook of photos that highlight Grandma Molly. Now I’ve got quite a few, some have already popped up in other albums of mine, but I want this to be anything from family Christmases to birthdays, to just sitting around the house. Here’s where I need you all. If you have any pictures of her that you have copies of, if you don’t mind sending them to me either by mail or email (my email is porcelain3doll@gmail.com), I could really make this album more complete. If you only have originals and don’t mind me borrowing them, I can make a copy and return the original to you. Please just let me know if it’s a photo I can keep or something I need to return. The album I’ll be making is a 12x12, so every picture should be able to fit just fine. Please help me do something meaningful that will help us all remember her more vividly.

Love,
Ashley


I sent these out to my parents, my remaining grandma, aunts, uncles and cousins. Well, I guess I should say, I'll be sending them out tomorrow once I buy another book of stamps. It's a new project that will put a lot of meaningful memories into a book lots of us can enjoy instead of being stuffed and hidden in a box where they're easily forgotten. I didn't put any kind of deadline on them because I don't want to rush anyone and frankly I have plenty of projects I'm trying to finish up before I need to start another, but it's nice that I have a plan for some of the clutter that needs to be kept and not tossed. I hope I get more photos and responses, maybe even a couple of stories to put in the album from other family members. There are a lot of things I didn't do while she was still alive and I was in college. Instead of piling on regret, I'm going to take all of that energy and turn it into something beautiful. I think it'll be pretty great.

In the meantime I've been crocheting babies as my Grandma called them, meaning stuffed animals. I guess she called them that because I always had at least one with me when I traveled and always a mountain to put on my bed when I made it in the morning. I still have 5 trash sacks full stored away under my bed until I have a little girl of my own when I can cover ceiling kissed shelves with them for her to look at (and maybe one or two to play with as well). While I was informed that I cannot sell anything I make from a bought pattern (who knew?) I've still continued to make them because they're incredibly adorable and I've gotten some great ideas to create some of my own.













Plus they make great gifts whether they're original or not because they are handmade. I'll start making my scarves and hats again soon so that I can have a huge stock for the cold weather. Those I can actually put in my Etsy store, so it'll be exciting to share my artwork with the world. I've also almost finshed my first "nap blanket," which is my favorite size to lay on the couch with or curl up under with a book and cup of tea. I haven't decided if I'll keep it or give it away to a family member. I'm probably leaning towards the second since I can always make myself another one.

While exploring around the Etsy world I found Steampunk Rings and descovered a name for a genre of things that I've always loved.

While I absolutely adored a particular watch and a bizarre little ring from them, I discovered all sorts of other neat little things.




I just love these little dog treat jars. You can get them from WhiteWashSundries with any breed inscripted and it's first initial on the top of the jar too! I really want to get one for my little Edward.





Of course I'm a total bag girl *which is the younger more hip version of a bag lady* and adore all sorts of totes and purses. I found several that I really adore and love the fact that if and when I am finally able to purchase one or two I'm supporting someones love and dream of being creative and doing what you love for a living.

It's Been Too Long.

December 24th - Christmas Eve

Coming home from my aunt and uncle's in Ft. Worth seemed like a good idea at the time. It was snowing and there was a possiblity for ice, but it was only 4:30 and not yet dark. Uncle Bill scraped any ice or snow off my car, my sister and I got in, turned the heater on and hit the road. The first two corners I slipped slightly, but the neighborhood streets are always the worst and least traveled. Getting on the highway was ok at first. I just needed to get home, 30 minutes away, probably closer to an hour in this weather, and then I could let little Edward outside and fix dinner. The onramp to I-35W had other ideas.

Let me tell you Oklahoman's don't know how to drive in snow and ice and Texans are even worse. They don't seem to understand that if you stop on ice you are probably not going to get going again until it thaws. So I'm just about to the peak of the curving slanted incredulously long ramp when the car in front of me slows almost to a hault. I have a nagging feeling I shouldn't be in the left lane so I start to merge into the right. Now some of you might be thinking, 'what the hell was she doing driving that Camaro in the snow?' Well it's my daily driver, the big hunk of beautifully curved metal in my life and it's weight seemed like an advantage at the time. What I wasn't thinking about was that all the weight is in the front of the car. The trunk and back end isn't nearly as heavy. So when the car in front of my decided that stopping was a good idea right before I was able to change lanes, the back wheels didn't get any traction. In one of those, 'I can't believe this is happening to me' moments, Astrid is slowly inching sideways with any pressure put on the gas petal.

Looking in the rear view mirror, we're not the only ones that have spun out. After the small line of cars behind us have passed, a new tiny little black sports car is now parallel to us, sitting horizontal on the bridge about 50 yards back, a long line of angry Texan cars trying to edge around it. The man in the huge olive green H-5 Hummer ignores my sister's plea for help, rolls his window up and continues down the icy road, while a few people are out of their vehicles helping the tiny sports car. A young sandy haired man rolls the window down to his white pick-up insisting that he promises to continue down the bridge but then come back and help us. After a terrifying probably 10 minutes of sitting on the ice bridge trying to figure out what to do, here comes our new sandy haired friend walking up the curve back towards us. The little black sports car is actually moving, comes to a hault behind us and gets out to help push, knowing the now all to familiar feeling of not wanting to have to hike home. Meanwhile my sister has Papa on the phone talking possibilities of a tow truck and walking down the highway from the direction in which we came to recruit more men salivating at the possibility of helping two stranded 20-something girls stuck in a '71 muscle car.

We've got 3 or 4 people at this point, but Astrid's not going anywhere but further sideways and there's no way these guys can get a grip on the ground let alone push the car. A heavy set man in a huge four wheel drive truck stops just ahead and to the right of our party, hopping out and yanking a long yellow band out of the pick-up bed and tells my new sandy haired friend to crawl under my car and 'attach it to anything'. With quite a bit of effort the truck pulls Astrid straight cause his truck to swing sideways. He offers Sandy a ride back to his truck and they skid off sidways down the bridge and to relative safety. All our little helpers have skated back to their cars, while Samantha and I attemp to move forward. The Camaro only wants to move sideways again so we stay put, engine running, Papa on the phone trying to pin our location and how we really didn't get that far at all so he can call a tow truck. I have insisted I'll pay for it, I don't car that it's going to be expensive because Astrid has forgotten how to move in the correct direction. It seems like we've been stuck on the bridge for at least an hour (when really it's mostly likely only been 20-30 minutes) and I see flashing lights in my rearview. I tell Papa a tow truck has found us, to wait on calling a tow company and get out of the car.

In reality it's a fire truck, with four firemen crawling out and one asking me questions about whether we were in a wreck, why we were stopped on the bridge and if either of us or the car were hurt. I completely butcher the explaination of what has happened but eventually get the point across. He tells me they are going to push me down and around the curve and that even though the rest of the highway is icy, I should be ok if we can just get moving. He translates the plan of how to get this going and I put the car in neutral. In hind sight it was similar to a parents coaching a cat out from a tree: 'you got yourself up there now get yourself down' as he coaxes my turns and braking to get the car around the curve. He tells me that the other guys have let go and I'm now moving on my own. A few last words of guidence and he says that he can't walk me down any longer, we're on our own.

Papa, still on the phone, determines our location as we stop in front of an exit and discovers that a tow truck is not an option. I'm either going to have to drive home or they are going to have to come try and get us, leaving Astrid on the side of the road. This last idea is even worse than the first to me for a number of reasons. Firstly being that my poor car will surely get rammed by several cars in the night on the increasingly icy roads, and second how are my parents going to get to us? I tell him I'm going to try driving forward and that the last mile wasn't too bad as long as we take it slowly. All the way to 820 it's like we have the plague because no one will get near us. I can't be happier with this revelation because I won't have to stop, risking not getting moving again, and there are fewer idiot drivers to skid out and hit us if they keep 30 yards away in all directions.

In what turned out to be a two hour trip, we made it to the apartment, I didn't strangle my sister, and sat on the couch to take a valume so I could actually breath as the aniexty attack I'd been suppressing finally started settling in. I thawed out my colorless and purple finger tips in the kitchen sink, while Eddie was estatic I was back and Samantha unfroze her tootsies in the tub. Spaghetti for dinner and Battlestar Gallactica in the living room until we finally fell asleep for the night.

Shoes Anyone?!

I've got a couple of items up on eBay right now. Check them out: Shoe Sale!