In Remembrance: September 11

Ten years ago I woke up thinking everything was normal. I was a sophomore at Norman High and getting ready to go to percussion sectionals for marching band. It was an early morning for me. So I was in the band building practicing some tune on the xylophone. We are going to band as normal and  and that rush of people going to their classes, building to building, someone says a plane flew into a building in New York. None of us believed them at first, and the shock of everything that was to come,  completely blanks out the face of that individual in my mind. When they start going into detail about a hijacking, terrorist attacks, no it's not a joke, the building is destroyed and we need to hurry to class. My body starts feeling numb and I'm no longer hearing anything around me.

We were on block schedule back then, A days and B days. It was an A day. Every teacher that could had a TV in their room with the news on. Some tried to conduct class, but most had discussions, or we sat in silence waiting for more news. Anger, hurt, confusion and sadness were all consuming and I had a million questions as I sat there in disbelief, class after class. By the time I got to my second class of the day the second tower had already been hit and we all knew this wasn't an accident. This was a bad dream, a nightmare, how could this be true...The second I got home, I threw down my bag and turned on my little 11 inch TV in my room, soaking in all the news, all the video, the sound bites. Over and over, repeatedly, trying to understand how and why.

In all the commotion, Channel 9 News played a video that hadn't been screened and I sat there, 15 years old, watching people jump out of the tower, the same kind of clip we'd be watching all day, but in this one you could hear them screaming, you could hear everything. I sat there. I cried and cried and didn't know what to do. I felt so completely helpless.

I only remember a few things from the rest of the week: the next day we had a timed writing in my English class. She said we couldn't stop class just because someone did something stupid. I can't remember ever being so angry at her ignorance and lack of sensitivity. My Spanish 2 class that normally didn't utter English was nothing but that, on the second day. The teacher pulled out a map of the world showing us where the terrorists were thought to be from. We discussed the events, our feelings, what this could all mean. I remember going to lunch with my friends Richard and Alex in Richard's little white Nissan. I have no idea where we went, I only remember being silent for what seemed like the entire week and people asking me if I was ok.

Papa was in Washington D.C. on usual business, and of course Uncle David was in New York on  that day. We instantly heard Papa was fine, but it took five days to hear from Uncle David.

Earlier that year in my history class, the teacher had showed us newspapers of other events in history. Things she or her parents had collected and saved over the years; the day Kennedy was shot for example. How important it was to not forget the big events. I kept every newspaper with a picture of the twin towers I could find. I still have them, stowed away in a little red box, safe and sound. Any time they see the light of day, it brings a sadness and an anger to my heart.

I'm not as angry about it anymore, but the sadness seems to consume me at the mention of it, especially on the anniversary every year. I'll never forget that day as long as I live. My friends going off to fight as soon as they could, getting out of high school early if they were 18 to hurry and get over there. People say that my generation is full of naive, irresponsible people, but my friends were and still are the ones over there fighting for everything we believe in. It's our turn, and we haven't let the ball drop yet.

Taken from the Empire State Building

Taken from Staten Island Spring 2001

Green Grass Photography and Photo Contests

My photoshoot out at Lake Hefner with John Cooper of Green Grass Photography was a blast. We shot a bunch of photos with my Camaro, Astrid. I always love pictures of my car, but it's hard to get something new. We definitely achieved it though with a simple outfit and switching to black and white. I was incredibly pleased with those results. It always helps to have someone that loves the car!

We just kept it nice and simple for our first photoshoot together. We stuck to two outfits. Of course changing clothes in a sportscar in triple digit heat is no easy task...We headed over to the shore for a couple of classic pinup shots and just some good fun bikini shots. I was pretty impressed with both of us as we got the following picture down on the very first try!

I'm still expanding my portfolio, since I haven't really done much since the move back from Texas. I've entered a couple of contests lately. One is for Retro Lovely's Star Maker Supreme. So far I've had 5 photos be accepted into the contest, and I've still got a chance to submit 4 more photos before the cutoff. The other contest is to be a cover model for GlamModelz Magazine. You can actually vote for me here. I was in the lead for a really long time, but now I've fallen to second place, so you should go vote!

One Jumbled Week, Marley and Me Style

Slow times at the Salon. Got discouraged. Ate dinner with the new neighbors. Stayed home watching TV, unpacking and doing chores. Really like my neighbors upstairs. Did a photoshoot at Lake Hefner with Cooper of GreenGrass Photography. Had a blast doing said photoshoot. Tried booking photoshoots in Tulsa. Worried about how I'm going to pay my bills. Missed Nate. Went to the gym by myself. Found out some surprising information. Realized I was actually ok with that information. Watched too much Grey's Anatomy. Missed Nate some more. Got an apology swirl. Had a second swirl just because I could. Found out more truths. Scrapbooked with my best friend Sabrina. Ate more food than we actually scrapbooked. Was surprised to see Nate come home early. Was even more surprised to know where he went. Worried about money more. Got a photo from the shoot. Loved it. Worried about my parents and their money. Edited playlists. Went to the gym with Nate. Watched documentary on where our food comes from. Drank wine. Listened to old playlists. A lot. Made plans for the future. Played Words with Friends. Played with Eddie. Found out crazy ex-boyfriend still isn't done being crazy. Thought about it and don't give a damn. Made more playlists. Did bridal hair. Did bridal hair again. Loved it again. Talked about how I love my job. Unpacked boxes. Bought groceries. Ate said groceries. Waited on photos from shoot. Took Edward outside. Played with Edward. Ignored money problems and had good cheap fun at the lake with awesome people. Went tubeing at the lake. Woke up ridiculously sore two days later from tubing at the lake. Went to my second summer scrapbook retreat of Vicki's. Worked on Grandma's memorial album. Caught up with old friends. Had an amazing money day at the salon. Waited for more photos. Spoke with more photographers. Thought Edward was crazy for wanting to lay in the hot hot sun. Let him anyway. Missed Nate more. Did laundry. Almost survived another deployment. Worked on two lists of fifty. Watched Easy A. Thought it was pretty dumb but liked the end. Realized maybe I don't want a fairytale but want a cheese 80's ending. Listened to more playlists. Snuggled with little Eddie. Agreed to take new neighbor to the airport at 530 am. Got pictures from the lake. Posted said pictures. Felt really lucky. Played Words with Friends. Started a playlist for my 80's ending ;)

The Social Event of July

Well I attended the Sparkdaddy.net meet and great last night over at the Speakeasy in OKC. It was definitely a good time. There were so many photographers I hadn't met and several I'd heard of/talked to, but hadn't seen face to face. We all exchanged business cards with our FB and Model Mayhem accounts. I think Chuck from ePhoto and I are FINALLY going to get our butts in gear and collaborate. I'm really stoked about that. I've admired his work for a long time now, and when I walked in the door and he insisted we talk before I leave, I got pretty excited.

It's an odd feeling having people know your name without knowing theirs. I think sometimes it's easier for the photographers. They go home with a handfull of cards with our faces and names, but we as models go home with cards saying their names and have other people's faces. So over the next days when you're trying to book shoots from the business cards, there's always that mystery of, 'was that the really cool one with lots of ideas, or was that the sort of creepy dude that asked what lingerie I own?' With my experience so far, it always works out, but it's definitely an interesting situation.

I remember going to a few mixers while I was down in Texas, booking a shoot from a name on a postcard after the fact, showing up and being relieved that I was wrong about who I thought it was actually with. It's interesting that some photographers don't have a picture of themselves anywhere on their sites. As a model, especially if you haven't met before, it's always nice to be able to match a face to a name BEFORE showing up at a shoot. I know it always relaxes me a little bit.

Anyway, it was cool having a few beers and eating french fries with new and old models, fresh and also experienced photographers. Lee Baxley, from Tulsa, and I finally met. We've been trying to schedule something for a while. Now that I'm finally out of hair school and in a salon, my schedule is super flexible and will allow me to make that trip up to Tulsa for a couple days. I'm planning a trip up sometime the second week of August, so all you Tulsa photogs get ready!

As one final note, if you weren't able to get out to the meet and great, beer social, you definitely need to next time! AND all those models and photogs and not a single picture? What were we thinking?